Be a Genie in Six Easy Steps Read online

  Milly bit her lip and shrank back into the sofa, her eyes filling with tears. Jess and Jason stared at the bookworm in shock.

  “Dumb worm,” Michael muttered, putting a hand on his sister’s shoulder. “It’s all right, Mil. Don’t cry.”

  “I’m not crying,” Milly said, sniffing hard.

  “Skribble didn’t mean it,” Jason put in. “Did you, Skribble?”

  But with the entire page destroyed in his wake, the bookworm wriggled with some difficulty back inside the book.

  Jess patted Milly’s arm. “Leave him to it. He’ll calm down and say sorry; you’ll see.”

  “Why don’t you tell us what we have to do in Step Five, Milly?” Jason suggested. “You haven’t read out from the book yet.”

  Milly wiped her eyes. “Okay,” she said. “I will.” She took the book, drew in a deep breath, and began to read in her very best onstage voice….

  * * *

  The Genie Handbook

  The Fifth Step: Beware What You Wish For

  YOU WHO ARE WITNESS TO THESE WORDS!

  A worthy wish-maker has now been granted her heart’s desire. But as you have discovered to your cost, not all who tread the earth are so deserving of a genie’s precious magic. Some people deserve to pay a fitting price for their folly in life, and no good genie will allow them to profit from wish-making.

  With this in mind, you must find a subject who deserves to be tricked. He should be a shallow-hearted man, self-serving and self-important. You must hear his wish and, as genie law demands, grant it for him. AND YET! A cunning genie will twist its sense and meaning so that the wish comes true in a most unfortunate manner….

  ACT NOT IN HASTE! Others must not suffer from the way in which you grant his wish. Be wary and wise. Failure to achieve success on the first attempt forfeits your right to proceed to the sixth and final step.

  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

  * * *

  Chapter Twenty-two

  “So we’ve got to trick someone!” Milly said, putting the book down.

  “But if we mess up this time, that’s it,” noted Michael. “No more genie training. No more magic.”

  “We’d better think carefully about who we trick, then.” Milly looked worried. “Who will it be?”

  “Can we think about it tomorrow?” Jason rubbed his head. “I think I’ve had enough for one day.”

  “Me too,” said Jess. “And I’ve got loads of history homework to do.”

  Michael nodded. “Just imagine being able to magic it all away!”

  “Let’s meet tomorrow and talk about who we’ll trick then,” said Milly.

  Milly and Jason led the way up the stairs. Jess was about to follow them when she noticed the book lying on the sofa and picked it up. “Better put this under Milly’s pillow again,” she said to Michael. “Skribble’s never lost it like that at her before, has he?”

  “And it’s weird the way he ate that whole page,” Michael agreed. “It’s like there was something written there that he didn’t want us to see. But it was just a picture of some genie in a library. What’s the big deal?”

  Jess shrugged. “I have absolutely no idea.”

  “The worm’s flipped. That’s all it is.” He rubbed his hands and set off upstairs. “Time to chill. I may not have an Ultra, but Game Boy, here I come!”

  Jason and Milly went through to the lounge. “When’s tea going to be?” Milly asked, bouncing down on the sofa next to Ann.

  “When your dad has a chance to go get takeout,” Ann told her.

  “Okay,” said Milly, snuggling in beside her.

  “Where is Mark?” Jason said. “He asked me to test him on some trivia questions tonight.”

  “He’s in the study,” said Ann. “But be gentle with him, Jason. I don’t think he’s feeling too confident!”

  Jason went into the study. Mark was sitting in the chair with his eyes closed, a Fantastic Facts trivia book lying beside him. “What’s the capital of Turkey?” he was muttering. “What is it…?”

  “Ankara,” Jason said.

  Mark jumped. “Oh, hi, Jason.” He picked up the book to check. “You’re right. Well done.” He sighed. “I can’t seem to remember anything. These questions are impossible! I mean, what does ‘http’ stand for in website addresses?”

  “Hypertext transfer protocol,” Jason immediately replied.

  “Okay, well, what’s half of one third?”

  “One sixth,” said Jason with a grin.

  Mark shook his head in amazement. “You always know the answers. You should be on this trivia team, not me!”

  Jason shrugged and took the book from him. “I like trivia questions. Hey, this is a cool one! Is it possible for a man in Scotland to wed his widow’s sister?”

  “I don’t know,” Mark said uncertainly. “Maybe there is a law about it in Scotland….”

  “Mark!” Jason grinned. “It’s a trick question! A man can’t marry his widow’s sister, because if he has a widow it means he must be dead—he can’t marry anyone!”

  Mark groaned. “I can’t manage normal questions, let alone trick ones! Come on, mate, help me with the geography, science, and math ones. Mr. Foxtrot will be livid if I don’t get at least some of them right on the night….”

  “Who’s Mr. Foxtrot?” Jason wondered.

  “He’s the captain of my trivia team.” Mark sighed. “And he takes it all very seriously!”

  Jason found a geography question. “What’s the longest river in the world?”

  Mark bit his lip. “Um, the Amazon?”

  “Nope, it’s the Nile. Here, try another.”

  Jason asked five geography questions before Mark got one right.

  “What am I going to do?” Mark exclaimed. “The Trivia Team Challenge is in two days’ time, and I’m going to mess up in front of the whole town! If only there was someone who could take my place—” He broke off and stared at Jason. “Hey! How about you, Jason!”

  “Me!” Jason’s voice came out in a squeak.

  Just then the doorbell rang. “We’ll talk about this some more in a minute,” Mark said, hurrying out of the study.

  “Mr. Foxtrot!” Jason heard him say in surprise as he opened the front door. “I was just talking to Jason about you. What brings you here?”

  “Just thought I’d pop ’round,” came a voice with a northern accent. “Maybe give you a little extra coaching.”

  “Well, actually,” said Mark, “this is very good timing. I want to talk to you about the trivia challenge….”

  Jason poked his head out of the study. Mr. Foxtrot was a large, stocky man whose ruddy cheeks were creased and dimpled with his self-satisfied smile. A pair of chunky glasses had slipped halfway down his bulbous nose. Jason saw that his hair was gray and thinning. Several long strands clung to the big bald patch on top of his head like they’d been glued there. Jason smiled but Mr. Foxtrot’s gaze swept over him as if Jason was of no more interest to him than an old piece of furniture.

  “Can I get you a coffee?” Mark asked.

  “No, no,” said Mr. Foxtrot, following Mark into the kitchen. Jason went after them. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

  Mark cleared his throat. “The thing is, Arthur, I really want the team to do well—”

  “We shall do more than just well,” Mr. Foxtrot interrupted. “I am determined we shall win!”

  “I know,” Mark said slowly. “And because of that…I think it might be best if young Jason here swaps places with me.”

  Mr. Foxtrot stared. “I beg your pardon?”

  “He’s been testing me on all sorts of questions.” Mark smiled. “I know he’s only nine, but he’s got a great memory for facts.”

  Mr. Foxtrot swung around and looked Jason up and down incredulously. “Have a child on the team? Ridiculous! We’re not running a kindergarten! You just need to practice more, Mark. That’s why I’ve come around….”

  Jason wished he could sink through the floor.
/>   Mr. Foxtrot whisked the Fantastic Facts book from Jason’s hand. “Is this what you’re trying to cram from, then, hmm? Bit tatty, isn’t it?”

  “The information’s good,” Mark said defensively. “I found it while we were moving shelves around in the shop.”

  “Hope not all your stock’s in this condition; you’ll be closed a month after opening!” Mr. Foxtrot chuckled. “No offense meant!”

  “None taken,” Mark said politely. “We’ve got some very good books to offer. I hope you’ll drop in and see for yourself; we’re planning a little opening party on Sunday—”

  “Yes, well, I’m a very busy man, of course,” Mr. Foxtrot said, not sounding interested. He flicked through the pages of the book and shook his head. “Hardly worth even asking this one, it’s so easy, but…what is the average of the numbers one, ten, and one hundred?”

  Mark looked blank. “Er…”

  Thirty-seven, thought Jason, working it out. It’s thirty-seven.

  “It’s easy,” Foxtrot insisted. “Come on.”

  “Thirty-seven!” Jason blurted out.

  Mr. Foxtrot jumped. Then he put down the book crossly. “Reading the answer over my shoulder, were you? That’s very rude, young man.”

  “I wasn’t!” Jason protested.

  “He doesn’t need to,” Mark agreed. “I told you Jason was brilliant with facts and figures.”

  Mr. Foxtrot looked skeptical. “Yes, well. Another question.” As he leafed through the pages, Milly came into the kitchen to fix herself a glass of orange juice. She smiled at him, but Mr. Foxtrot ignored her just as he had ignored Jason. “Now then, Mark,” he commanded. “What’s the name of Pluto’s moon?”

  “Charon,” said Jason, unable to stop himself.

  “Sharon?” Mr. Foxtrot spluttered with mirth. “Sharon, he says!”

  “Not Sharon, Charon,” said Jason. “C-H-A…”

  Foxtrot peered more closely at the fact book and frowned. “Ah. Yes, well, we all knew that, didn’t we?” He looked at Mark meaningfully. “You know, in my day, children were seen and not heard!”

  Jason blushed and sat down at the table. Milly looked crossly at Mr. Foxtrot.

  “Jason was only trying to help,” said Mark.

  “I’m the one who needs help!” Mr. Foxtrot shut the book with a bang. “My team has won the Trivia Team Challenge every year for five years running. I intend to make it six years, so I suggest you get studying. We like winners around here, Mark, and we don’t have much time for losers.” Mr. Foxtrot cleared his throat. “No offense meant. Good night.”

  Picking up his coat, he marched out of the kitchen.

  As Mark followed him stiffly to the front door, Milly looked at Jason. “What a horrid man!” she hissed.

  Jason nodded. “You should have seen the look on his face when your dad asked if I could be on the team. He looked at me as if I was a booger or something.”

  “Poor Dad, having to be bossed around by him,” Milly said. “Someone should teach him a lesson.” She caught her breath and saw a grin starting on Jason’s face. “Oh, Jase! Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

  Jason grinned at her and nodded. “One undeserving subject—delivered straight to our door!”

  Chapter Twenty-three

  “Hey, Jess! Over here!” Colette called when Jess walked into her classroom the next morning.

  “Hi,” Jess said shyly.

  Colette was sitting on a desk at the back with a group of friends. She got up and went over to Jess. “It was fun last night. You should come over and do your homework again sometime. I mean, if you want to…?”

  “That would be great!” said Jess. “And we’ve got math together after homeroom, haven’t we. Maybe we could sit together?”

  Colette grinned and nodded. “Maybe we could.”

  Jess had a much better day at school. She got to know Colette’s two best friends, Jodie and Natasha, and found they weren’t as clonelike as she’d first thought. Natasha had also moved to Moreways Meet fairly recently; she didn’t know many people but she was really into clothes and music. Jodie had five brothers and sisters, so she and Jess bonded as they moaned about how annoying siblings could be.

  After school, Jess walked home with them.

  “What are you doing tomorrow afternoon?” Colette asked when they reached Jess’s house.

  “Yeah, do you want to go shopping with us?” Jodie said. “We’re meeting in town.”

  “I wish I could,” Jess replied. “But I’ve got to go to this trivia thing. Mark, my stepdad, is on one of the teams.”

  “Never mind,” Colette said. “Another time though?”

  “Definitely,” Jess declared. “See you!”

  Just so long as you don’t see me doing genie magic, she thought. Milly and Jason had told her and Michael about Mr. Foxtrot, and they’d all agreed he seemed the perfect subject to try to trick. They had decided to take the lamp around to his house first thing on Saturday morning.

  Jess walked into the house and found her mum in the kitchen.

  “You look like you’ve had a good day,” Ann said.

  “Yeah,” said Jess with a happy sigh. “I have, for a change.” She looked around. The house was very quiet. “Where are the others?”

  “Milly’s gone to see her new friend’s pony, Michael’s signed up for an after-school karate class, and Jason’s at computer club,” Ann answered. “It’s great that you all seem to be settling in at last.”

  As Jess headed up to her room she thought about what her mum had said. Were they all settling in? Jason seemed more confident in this school than his old one. Michael and Milly had made friends from the start and were joining clubs and finding things to do.

  And now maybe I’ve got friends, too, Jess thought.

  So, do I still want to go back to London?

  She hesitated.

  Yes, she told herself firmly. I do.

  Jess was just finishing her math homework when Milly bounced in from riding.

  “Oh, Jess, I’ve had the best time!” Milly’s grin was so big it almost split her face in two. “Emily and I were taking turns to ride Blaze, her pony; then this friend of Emily’s mum called Chris saw us and asked me if I’d like to ride her pony. He’s called Pepper and Chris’s daughters are too big for him now but she doesn’t want to sell him because she’s had him since he was a foal—”

  “Whoa, information overload!” said Jess with a smile.

  “Anyway, I did ride Pepper!” Milly went on. “Emily and I went for a ride in the woods together. It was so cool! Chris asked me if I’d like to ride him again tomorrow. I had to say no ’cause we’re doing genie stuff but I really hope she asks me another time….”

  “I’m sure she will,” Jess said.

  “It’s been funny having a day without magic,” Milly went on.

  Jess nodded. “Yeah.” She felt almost guilty when she realized she’d actually enjoyed it. She’d imagined that training to be a genie was going to be great fun, but after all the things that had happened she was beginning to wonder.

  Magic seems to bring us nothing but trouble, she reflected with a sigh.

  “I can’t wait to get started on the genie book again tomorrow,” Milly burbled on as she started to get changed. “Mr. Foxtrot’s horrible. I bet we trick him really brilliantly. This is going to be fun!”

  Jess chewed the end of her pen anxiously. She really hoped Milly was right.

  As the sun rose the next morning, Jess, Michael, Jason, and Milly hurried to Sheerstock Avenue, where Arthur Foxtrot lived.

  His house, number eleven, had a blue front door with a polished brass handle. In front of the house was a small, neat garden—a square of grass surrounded by three regimented rows of purple, yellow, and white pansies.

  “Okay, here goes,” Jess said, taking the lamp out of her bag.

  “Ready to get tricking, Jase?” asked Michael, his dark hair sticking up wildly.

  Jason nodded. “I think so.” He had
a few ideas but it all depended on what Mr. Foxtrot was going to wish for—and he knew he wouldn’t have long before he had to grant the wish one way or another.

  “Hang on,” said Michael. “I’ve just thought of something! When Foxtrot rubs the lamp, Jase will be in his power like I was in Ollie’s—so how will we get Foxtrot to say the ‘Genie be free’ bit?”

  Jason stared at him. “I hadn’t thought of that!”

  There was a moment’s silence.

  “I’ve got an idea,” said Jess slowly. “Get into the lamp, Jason.”

  Jason took a deep breath. “Genie me!” he whispered, and vanished down the spout.

  Milly and Michael watched expectantly as Jess rubbed the well-worn brass. Jason whooshed back out in genie form.

  “Now I’m the wish-maker,” Jess declared. “And my wish is that you go back inside the lamp and grant a single wish for Mr. Arthur Foxtrot! Then you will be back under my control.”

  Jason grinned. “Your wish is my command!” He shrank and spiraled back up the brass spout.

  “Impressive, Jess,” said Michael, his bleary eyes full of admiration. “I mean—it’s not even six thirty in the morning! That’s totally devious!”

  “I think ‘in-genie-ous’ is the word you’re looking for!” Jess replied with a grin.

  She and Michael watched from the wall as Milly placed the lamp on the front doorstep, rang the brass doorbell, and then turned and raced back down the drive. Michael and Jess ran away too. They all hid behind a parked car farther down the street.

  “The door’s opening,” Jess hissed.

  “This is the big one,” said Michael nervously. “If Jase messes this up, we can forget about being genies, going back to London—all of it!”

  Inside the lamp, Jason heard the click of the front door—quickly followed by Mr. Foxtrot’s gruff voice. “Yes? Who’s there?”

  Suddenly the lamp was kicked. It fell sideways with a loud clatter and Jason cannoned into the wall. “Ow!” he muttered. Then he tensed in excitement as he felt the lamp being lifted up into the air. This could be it! The moment that he became a genie ready to grant Mr. Foxtrot’s wish. But not just any genie—a genie who was up for playing tricks.