Be a Genie in Six Easy Steps Read online

  “You look totally dumb,” said Jess with some pleasure.

  “What would you know?” Michael tossed the beard over his shoulder. “I could trap badgers in this.”

  “You could tie it around your waist and use it as a belt!” said Jason, trying to join in. Michael ignored him.

  “Is it a real beard?” Milly wondered, and yanked on it hard.

  “Ow!” Michael yelped. “Yes, it is!”

  Milly grinned. “My turn now!”

  Michael imagined himself back into the lamp and Jason set him free.

  “Now then, Milly,” said Skribble, a slightly softer edge to his voice. “Into the lamp you go. But don’t forget to really use your imagination.”

  Jason passed Milly the lamp. “Knock on the inside when you’re ready to come out.”

  Milly nodded and slipped both hands around it, tracing its swirling, tarnished patterns with her fingers. “Genie me!” she whispered.

  And with a now familiar WHOOSH, she was drawn inside.

  Finding herself inside the lamp, Milly thought hard. What did she want to look like? Blue trousers, she decided, a glittering peacock blue. She imagined herself wearing those with a silver top that just showed off her tummy. And she wanted a turban—a red one with a big emerald in the center. That just left her face. No moustache, she thought firmly. No beard, either. Shutting her eyes, she imagined herself until the image was so real she felt as if she could reach out and touch the genie Milly.

  Now! she thought.

  She rapped quickly on the inside of the lamp. There was the familiar warm swirling sensation. Jess must be rubbing the side, she realized, but no sooner than the thought had formed, she found herself shooting upward. She burst out of the lamp in a shower of silver sparks.

  “Hey!” she gasped, landing on the carpet and holding out her arms.

  “You look great, Milly!” Jess exclaimed, with a tinge of envy.

  Milly went to the mirror. She looked just like she’d imagined herself—only better. The trousers were embroidered with silver thread and the material glittered and shone, her silver top sparkled, and the emerald in her turban glowed. Best of all, she had no moustache! “Cool,” she breathed.

  Skribble nodded in approval. “May I say what a delightful genie you make, Milly.”

  “And may I say, I’m starving,” said Michael grumpily. “It’s way past lunchtime.”

  Milly frowned. “How can you think about food? We’re doing magic!”

  “Even trainee genies need to eat,” said Michael. “Come on, sis, change back.”

  “But there is still much to do,” Skribble protested. “You all need to try harder! You must practice, over and over!”

  “Maybe we’ll do better on a full stomach,” said Jess. “We can practice again after we’ve eaten.”

  Milly sighed, shut her eyes, and whizzed back into the lamp. She heard Jess say, “Genie be free!” Then she popped out of the spout, full-size again. Michael and Jason were already leaving the room. Jess put the lamp down on her bed, and followed them out. Skribble was left looking quite forlorn, his head peeping from the book.

  “We’ll be back soon, Skribble,” Milly said, looking into his little eyes. “Thank you for helping me with my genie look!”

  The worm looked pleased. “Yes, well…hurry back quickly, my dear. There is no time to be complacent!”

  Milly grinned and ran downstairs after Jess and the others. She found them in the kitchen looking in the fridge.

  “I really can’t face pizza again,” Jess sighed. “I think I’ll just make myself a sandwich.”

  Milly looked at the rock-hard remains of a loaf on the breadboard. “With that? You’ll need a chain saw to cut through it.”

  “There are some old baked beans and a bit of cheese in the fridge,” Jason observed. “We could use our imaginations and do something with them.”

  “Better than doing something with this.” Michael weighed the half loaf in both hands. “This isn’t food anymore; it’s an offensive weapon.” As if to prove his point, he dropped it on Jason’s foot.

  “Ow!” Jason started hopping around the room. Jess gave Michael a cross shove. Michael gave her one back.

  “You’re right, Jase!” Milly said suddenly.

  “What about?” said Jason, still clutching his toes.

  “It’s like you said—we should use our imaginations. Worlds of appearance and change!”

  Jason stopped hopping as he realized what she meant. “You mean we could use magic?” He pulled the cheddar out of the fridge. “We could change this old cheese and the bread—”

  “Into a delicious mega-feast!” Milly nodded quickly.

  “That’s actually a cool idea,” said Michael, looking impressed.

  “Brilliant!” said Jess. “We could have proper food for a change.”

  “Do you think we’re allowed to use magic for that?” said Jason.

  Milly ran to the door. “Let’s get the book and ask Skribble—now!”

  Chapter Ten

  Milly and Jason ran upstairs to see Skribble and explain their idea. The little bookworm seemed to approve.

  “Not a bad test of your abilities, I suppose,” he said. “It may give you food for thought, at any rate!”

  “We can make whatever we like,” said Milly. Jason grabbed the lamp and she carefully picked up the book. “Come on!”

  “Not too quickly!” Skribble commanded. “I get airsick.”

  They came back downstairs to find Michael and Jess had laid out four empty plates on the kitchen table. Milly put Skribble and the book down on the kitchen counter.

  “Right then, Worm,” said Michael. “How can we make a tasty all-you-can-eat grub marathon out of some cold baked beans, a bit of moldy cheddar, and some rock-hard bread?”

  “Since you have a rock-hard head as well, I’m not entirely sure you can,” said Skribble. “Who intends to be the genie?”

  “Let me try again!” Jess said eagerly. “Genie me!” she gasped as she was tugged down into the lamp, then tried to collect her thoughts while she waited for Jason to summon her. Yes, she knew how she wanted to appear….

  There was a fizzing feeling in her tummy as the lamp began to shake. Jess shot out through the spout, looking stunning in a gold miniskirt, glittering gold boots, and a gold cutoff top. She had a diamond in her belly button and a delicate diamond-and-gold tiara on her head.

  “That’s a brilliant outfit!” Milly declared.

  “Thanks.” Jess smiled. “I just really pictured in my head what I wanted to look like….”

  Michael yawned noisily. “How about granting a wish sometime this year?”

  “Jess, for my lunch, I wish I had a huge plate of sausage and mash, please,” Jason burbled. “With gravy!”

  Jess drew herself up to her full height. “Your wish is my…” She frowned. “How do I do it?”

  “Transform that bit of cheese,” said Michael, tipping it out onto one of the empty plates on the kitchen table.

  “Picture it in your head,” Milly advised. “That’s what I did when I unfroze Jase.”

  Sausages, Jess thought to herself, imagining them sizzling in a pan. Sausages and fluffy mashed potatoes with no lumps…She pictured a big plateful of mash, neatly ringed with sausages, and then smothered the whole lot with deep brown gravy. For good measure, she imagined four frankfurters sticking out of the whippy potatos like birthday candles.

  The book on the floor trembled. Jess’s hands shot up. “Your wish is my command!” she boomed, her genie voice echoing around the room.

  A flash of gold lit up the air. Everyone gasped as a plate of sausages and mash appeared!

  “Oh, wow!” Jess laughed out loud with delight. “I did it! I just did real magic!”

  “It looks amazing!” Michael grinned, too, and slapped a knife and fork into Jason’s hand. “Dig in, then, Jase!”

  Jason speared one of the sausages and scooped up a huge forkful of mash with it. But as he stuck it in h
is mouth, he screwed up his face and groaned. “Euurggh! It tastes of old cheese!”

  Milly stuck a finger in the mash and tasted it. “Ugh, he’s right.”

  “You disguised the appearance, but not the taste!” Skribble told Jess, clicking his tiny tongue. “An elementary mistake.”

  “It’s cold, too,” complained Jason.

  “All right, then,” Jess retorted. “You be the genie if you think you can do it better!” With that, she flounced back down the spout.

  Jason set her free, then whooshed himself inside the lamp. Milly rubbed the sides, and he reemerged in genie form—still with a rude noise but with less of that horrid brown smoke. His green silk suit, funny slippers, and white turban were the same, but this time his moustache was bushier. The curly ends stuck out across his cheeks like huge handlebars.

  “A most mystical moustache, boy,” said Skribble approvingly. “Milly, make your wish for lunch.”

  “I’ve decided I want my lunch to be cold,” she informed Jason, placing some stale bread on the table. “I want jelly and ice cream, and cake, and triangle sandwiches, and iced buns, and chicken legs….”

  Michael rolled his eyes. “We’ll be here all day!”

  “As you desire!” Jason thundered, and the book vibrated in time with his voice. Suddenly a huge spread of party food appeared.

  Michael bit into a chicken leg. “Not bad,” he admitted. “Looks and tastes like chicken….”

  “But the texture is still like stale bread!” Jess pulled a funny face. “If you close your eyes, it’s like chicken-flavored stale bread.”

  “It’s still brilliant, Jase,” declared Milly. “I’m going to eat a sandwich. That’s meant to have the texture of bread!” But even she had to admit that the ham in the middle of it seemed very odd.

  “My lunch next!” said Michael. “Come on, Milly. Be my genie.”

  So Milly became the genie and granted Michael’s wish for a hamburger that tasted not only of hamburgers but chips and ginger ale as well—a chamburgle. She conjured it from a cornflake that Michael found in the bottom of a cereal box left by the bin.

  “Not bad,” was his verdict. “It’s a nice and chewy chamburgle, nothing like a cornflake. And the tastes were all there, mixed up together. Didn’t really fill me up, but it saves time eating and drinking everything all in one go!”

  “Good,” said Jess. “Because I want my lunch now!”

  Jess described what she wanted to eat—a baked macaroni, tomato, and cheese casserole and a strawberry smoothie. Michael became the genie, whizzing back out of the lamp with an even longer beard than before, and granted her wish.

  The casserole looked and smelled delicious—you would never know it had once been some baked beans. The smoothie even came with umbrellas and a slice of pineapple on the rim of the glass.

  “Well done, Michael,” Jess said grudgingly. “This looks pretty amazing.” She stuck a big forkful of casserole into her mouth—and spat it straight out. “Ugh! Rotten eggs!”

  “Gotcha!” Michael guffawed and held out his hand for Jason to high-five. Jason looked worriedly at his sister, but since her eyes were closed and watering, he slapped the offered hand just as hard as he could.

  “You pig, Michael!” Jess gasped. She took a swig from the smoothie to take away the horrid flavor—but that tasted even worse! “Ugh! It’s like cold vomit!”

  “This step is all about disguises, isn’t it?” Michael asked innocently as Milly quickly fetched Jess a glass of water. “Well, that was just me putting a disguise on top of a disguise!”

  “Sly, devious, and underhanded,” Skribble piped up from the kitchen counter. “But those are all traits that serve a genie well….”

  “Look on the bright side, Jess,” said Jason. “We’re playing as a team; we should get extra points for that trick!”

  “Yes, well, maybe I don’t want him on my team!” said Jess angrily.

  Michael raised his eyebrows. “Why, because I play better than you and make you look like rubbish?”

  Jess clenched her fists. “We’ll see about that! Genie be free!”

  With a yelp of surprise, Michael was sucked down into the spout of the lamp and spat out again on the floor in his normal clothes. Jess grabbed the glass of smoothie and emptied it on his head.

  “Urgh!” he cried.

  Jumping up, he grabbed the plate of casserole—but before he could throw it over Jess, she yelled, “Genie me!” and vanished back inside the lamp.

  “Stop this tomfoolery!” said Skribble, scowling. “This is a serious business!”

  Milly grabbed the plate off him, and scraped the casserole into the bin. Jason rubbed the lamp to bring Jess back out as a genie.

  “I wish Michael wasn’t covered in smoothie,” said Jason quickly, “and I wish Jess had a nice taste of strawberries in her mouth.”

  “It shall be done!” boomed Jess, and she clapped her hands together.

  Suddenly, Michael was gunk-free. “Cheers, Jase!” he said with a grin.

  “Yeah, thanks, Jason,” Jess added, licking her lips. “Truce, Michael?”

  “I guess,” he said.

  “And now I wish there were enough sausages and mash for all of us!” cried Jason.

  Jess closed her eyes, then clapped her hands three times. A huge platter of sausage and mash appeared, swimming with rich gravy. And this time, taste and temperature, texture and smell were all spot-on. Too hungry to wish for their own meals all over again, all four children tucked in.

  “Would you like some, Skribble?” asked Milly, through a mouthful of sausage.

  Skribble shook his head. But he sniffed the air approvingly. “Very good,” he said. “You are getting better.”

  For a while there was silence apart from the sound of chewing and swallowing and forks scraping on the plates.

  At last, Michael sat back and gave a satisfied belch. “That was excellent!”

  “I suppose we should clean up in here,” said Milly. The kitchen was a mess. The bin was overflowing, the washing up lay in a big pile in the sink, and there were boxes and books everywhere.

  “If we did, your mum would be well pleased,” Michael said. “Hey!” He sat up straight. “We could tidy the whole house—just by disguising its appearance!”

  “That’s true!” Jason said. “And we could conjure up a really nice dinner for them.”

  Michael nodded excitedly. “We could say we spent the last pennies of our pitiful allowances on food to make them a surprise dinner.” He beamed around. “They needn’t know we just used magic and a couple of old baked beans. I bet they’d be so happy, they’d give us some extra cash as a reward. We haven’t had a proper allowance since we moved here, and I’ve got, like, two pennies left now.”

  “That’s tricking them!” said Milly.

  “It’s not—it’s practice!” Michael looked at Skribble. “It’s doing what the book wants us to do, right, Worm? If it makes us a bit of money on the side, it’s not our fault!”

  Skribble groaned to himself and disappeared back inside the book.

  Jason looked at Jess. “Mum would be really happy if the whole house was tidy!”

  “Happy enough to splash the cash,” Michael agreed.

  “Will you shut up about getting money off our parents!” Jess snapped. “You know things are hard for them with the bookshop being about to open.”

  “Give the money back to them then, if you’re so worried,” said Michael. “Now, Jase, come on, we’re running out of time; they’ll be back soon—get wishing!”

  Chapter Eleven

  The children all took turns to be genie and wish-maker, tidying up the whole house a room at a time. Dust vanished from the dressers and shelves. The washing up put itself in the cupboards. Every last crumb hid itself away, and every last cobweb on the ceiling shriveled to nothing. Soon the whole house was gleaming.

  Jess looked around, hands on hips. “This dump is almost livable now!”

  “Dad and Ann are going t
o freak out when they see this!” said Milly happily.

  Then they turned their attention to the dinner.

  “Nothing too flashy,” Jess warned them. “Or Mum and Mark will never believe we did it ourselves.”

  They went for a simple dinner of egg, potatoes, and peas, with lots of French toast. It was Ann Worthington’s favorite. Jess was the one who magicked it into life. They all agreed that her attention to detail was the best—even Michael.

  Now they had put the lamp and the book away upstairs, and Milly was watching from the kitchen window for headlights coming up the drive. It was just starting to get dark.

  “They’re here!” Milly shouted as she saw her dad’s car turn into the driveway.

  Jess, Jason, Michael, and Milly all bundled out through the kitchen door, wanting to be first to greet their parents.

  “Welcome back!” called Jess.

  Milly opened the car door and grabbed hold of Ann’s arm. “We’ve got a surprise for you!”

  “We’ve been working really hard all afternoon to tidy the house,” said Michael grandly.

  “Am I sleeping?” wondered Mark, allowing Jason to help him out of the car. “Have I gone mad?”

  “This is just the sort of madness I could get to like!” said Ann. “Michael, could you help me get the shopping bags out of the back of the car?”

  “You don’t need them, Mum!” said Jess.

  “We made you dinner,” said Jason, towing her toward the door. “Egg, potatoes, and peas, your favorite!”

  “What a lovely thing for you to do.” Ann smiled fondly at all of them. “Mark and I have been working so hard all day. I’ve been up since six, and now it’s sunset already. It’s really thoughtful of you to help us out like this.”

  “We just do what little we can,” said Michael humbly.

  “Come on,” said Milly, ushering Ann and her dad into the kitchen. “Close your eyes and prepare to be amazed….”

  But as they got through the door, it was Milly, Michael, Jess, and Jason who got the biggest shock.

  All the steaming hot food had vanished. And the kitchen looked in as bad a state as it always had! Michael made a noise like a small piglet being stepped on.